I will survive?

Why does it has to turn it out this way?!

Fuck!!!

Why cant I stop being depressed for at least a month!

Things just go from bad to worst.

Killing myself would make hell and misery to others instead.

I felt like jumping from a cliff! and hoping that everything were back and start over again in the beginning..

God..help me in this one..

I just cant take it!

I felt the burden on my shoulder and my head felt like it's going to freaking explode into thin air!

whatever that means..

miss the beach somehow..dint get to see the sunset and sunrise! =[

Say

I don't want you

Cause i wasn't chasing you!

Ahh.... Why does it have to turn out this way around??!

Why does my Love life have to be difficult?

I tried my best, but in the end..it turns out to be different..

I meant different results..

and Friends are always there to not believe in you when your telling the truth.

call that a FRIEND huh..

Closer To You

All that I'm after is life full of laughter

As long I'm laughing with you

All that still matter is a Love ever after.

The 5th Wave!

Survived semester 4!

Results were..

well Sucks...what the heck?! 

I din't repeat any subject,that matters..

And i swear on my Cats grave i need to change my habit of sending my work late!!

Like that will ever happen!

Time

 It fly's by us Fast enough till we din't even notice it

Changes everyone at the same time

Had I change?

That question is only for God to know

I felt miserable each day

I never knew why...

Never did

5 more months till 2011

How i cant wait for that day to come..

From that day onwards

 

I wanted my life means something

and To find the purpose of my living my life

Empty Again

I tried to fill some emptiness 

Till i had it all spilled over

Everything's so far away

That I don't know who I am

When all that i wanted

And all that I have

Don't seem so much

For Me to Hold On..

Your mind is the scene of the crime

Watch the movie twice now

I have to watch it one more time, this time.. with a proper attire 

For two times I've been watching the movie with short pants

And it ain't fun

Cause it was freezing cold

Inception was

Mind blowing! Epic Movie! 

Dream on Christoper Nolan

Pain..Its just a Simple Compromise

I will never bother You

never promise to

never follow you( i never did)

never bother you (even this)

never speak a word again

I will crawl away away for good

Things have never been so swell

I have never failed to fail 

Pain!

You know your right

*this goes to you for forgetting your own friends who had been with you over the years

yet, i still want to forgive but i felt like Killing myself instead 

Dead Tired

Rock climbing

I know its a nice and cool sports..

I though it was easy

well, I though...

Now I'm dead tired

I cant feel my hands and legs

My head is the only thing that survived, well mostly..

Belia program was far most tired event ever

Eventually it was my fault.

Careless about myself..

but Overall everything was Fun.. Worth it..and uhh.. thats about it?

I'm still in Pain while blogging now.

Love-less

I've been so trying hard

but not hard enough, to try/show and to love someone. which is not my 'gf' but still a friend.

I don't have that much confident in myself nowadays..why?!

I just don't want to ruin a perfect Friendship

I never want to make the same mistakes twice..

But i just kept thinking bout it everyday

plus that Dreams of mine which makes it worst for myself

I think by Christmas I'll  be crazy, unsecured,hopeless and broken

If this problem and attitude of mine goes on

I could end up like HIM!

hopefully not.

that would be THE END of me.

Was it a dream?

I hated it when it suddenly happens in a Dream

Makes me wonder

How am i suppose to cope with my studies with this kind of situation

It Sucks real bad

Plus i hated it when someone kept saying whats the point of you going there?

Well, smart ass.. 

Its my life dammit! Not yours! 

Who are you to judge me where i wanted to live my dreams

Chances to be different and to see different side of the world!

and No one is stopping me, no one!

Few more weeks to class begins

and I'm raring to go and do my work

Ignore others,do my work and save myself

(according to one my lecturers)

When he told me that 2 semester ago.. 

I dint take that seriously

till now

The Signal

7 more days

for season 2

of ALAN WAKE!

Monday Blues

For the first time since my Holiday

It was the most relaxing Monday Morning ever

I slept well

I dint have to do any work

Like driving and all that.

Just relaxing

Then hopefully tonight will get to hang out with Friends that i hadn't met since Holiday started

Things just couldn't get any better 

From Yesterday

I wanna bury my head in the sands 

I wanna forget about all the shit and fucked up things that had ever happen to me

I just want to be Free 

From everything

I want to start a New Life

For myself

Its that a Bad Thing to ask?

If it isn't

Then why is it so hard just to Reach it?

That Picture

When Dreams can eventually makes me desperate for that Reality

Its been awhile now since i started to lose my mind.

I don't really care what it takes to reach that dreams of mine

I will find a way

and 

I will never Give up..

Oceanside,California.

wait for me.

Misguided

Seems that chasing my impossible dreams

seems pretty Impossible after all

that burden i felt.

i really wanna leave this Hell

i hated it so much

i hated the situation more every time as i woke in the morning thinking that i could not reach my dreams

I cant stop thinking about it everyday..

It echo me in circles 24-7

i couldn't sleep properly

i couldn't eat

i couldn't think

i couldn't play games

i cant even think properly

i really do wish that i can make a wish through airplanes

i wanted start a new life for myself

but that pain, is just a simple compromise.

i couldn't care less about myself now

i felt like Giving Up for real.

in everything

Disturbed

Im disturbed enough already

so

Stop bothering me! 

My mind is going insanely crazy like shit! 

Holidays

Its Holiday, and i'm bored to D e a t h ! !

I was suppose to be happy but i wasn't..

Sleepless night, do some routine work, alone at home staring at the wall

for Christ sake even the walls in my room are sick of me staring at them!!

My cat & dog ignores me, sleep & eat thats all they do..

I dint even went to Rainforest! 

i know it'll be bored and expensive, unlike last time which is more nicer! 

no offence, im just moody now..

~sigh~

next semester im sem 5!

hope to relive my Dreams from there,

so that i can get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!

Life sucks?

Is it? 

I just need to find that simple answer on whats the meaning and the purpose of my life..

and then i wont say it SUCKS!!

Nick Vujicic

He inspires me starting this month!

Dont give up, Keep chasing your dreams!

he has No Arms No Legs.. yet he says No worries 

Thank you Nick!