Faded

Dreams can be shattered if you can't keep the promises..

For example..

me

I couldn't understand whats been going with me for the past months,

It's like I can't do the things that I love, like designing the works that I had, I had lost my touch of drawings..

I'm beginning to fail myself, I had the worst performance of my life in semester 5.

and still I couldn't figure out why?!

People surrounding me couldn't understand what I've been through..

All they think is their advice is right and just move the fuck on!

well, fuck you! All those words are worthless if you cant put your finger on the problems I've had for the past months.

You cant look through it, you cant analyze it for me..and if you cant do those shit, shut the fuck up! 

YOUR MAKING IT WORST!!

the only way is I handle it my own..

I'm better on my own, I never needed help in my life, I struggle alone, I face my problems alone, I face my fear alone, everything I do is ALONE!

I don't like to involve others as is because its not their problems and if anything happens to them, it will be ON ME!!!

Now, thank God everything is over for awhile, Hoping for a great Christmas alongside old buddy's of mine, and I couldn't be more happier than before.. 

and Baba Vanga, stop predicting the world will be in shattered misery next year.. I still have my hopes and dreams to reach pier beach..don't let us humans down, we still wanna live a beautiful life..

Who cares?

I don't give a fuck anymore... What I get in return was always a smack in the face.. I'm tired of everything, Now I'll do everything I can just to get the fuck out of this fucking place! 


You heard me.. FUCK IT! SUCK IT UP YOU ARSE!

I don't care

the title says it all......

All I want

All I wanted the most is now

to start a new life

start from scratch

from new friends to new home for myself.

I need a new hope..

I'm desperate to find one..

everyday it hurts me for what I'm about to go through..

some of my friends were heartless, disrespect and fucking rude!

all I did was doing my work and ignoring the possibilities of other worlds thats happening surrounding me..

but still, they come back to haunt me like i'm a piece of meat..

I just cant stand it..

I can break down anytime..

I mean I love all my friends no matter what they did.

I still love all of you, my family,my pets my hometown..

but everything seems to be some sort of shattered memories thats ready to be erase and to be thrown at my face..

and you think it's funny, if I was the same old bad kid like the last time. 

I bet you'll be thinking twice about who are you messing with..

I just want to have a normal, simple, entertaining, lovable life, and most importantly.. privacy!

I hate those FUCKING gossip who think they are the single most funniest people in the whole wide world,

if there was a gun right now, I would have shoot you in fucking balls and arse!

God, thats all im asking.. I dont want to be in my hometown anymore, I just wanna be in my dream world now, the place that i've been chasing for years and years.. 

hopefully in 9 months..I'll be there.. 

and I hope i'll be given a chance..to change myself to a better person that now..

=[  

Burn

I hate this freaking place already.

Home, yea..Fuck that! Everything seems to be a fucked up thing.

Every week surely there will be a mess that has to do with us.

Who the FUCK do you think you are?

Were not your fucking dogs you bitch!

I cant run away from those mess as long I'm still here, Ignoring will be worst.

so how stupid can you guys be anyway?

If you think your right all the time, then stop messing around with people like us.

We din't want any of this either, yet you say its our fault!

Stupid, imbecile, low life scum!

I..HATE..THIS..FREAKING..PLACE!

If I ever had a chance to leave now to a better place,

I would take it! 

Changes

I believe in what I'm capable of

The reason why I cant make it right

Thats because I dint help myself

I dint put faith in myself.

So now I see it..

I want to get those things going and start myself a new way of improving myself

This is just the beginning.

10 more months.

and I'm out of this freaking hell town of mine!

I countdown the days and months cause it keeps my dream alive!

and I WILL NOT LET THAT DREAMS FADE AWAY!

not even a little!

Where I'm going is where my dreams are waiting for me.

and I'm going to achieve that no matter what it takes

Whatever my friends says about my dreams, 

I see you as a Negative impression..

If You are my friend, then you yourself should have a dream of your own and chase it!

Why stop me if I'm not stopping you.. 

Whats wrong with me?

I open my lungs, to breath in forgiveness and love

Haunting me now reminders of how I used to be

And on the road my troubles are sure to follow

Looking out the window, the hell if I know where will I go

I cant wait to leave.

I'm begging to leave..

I hated it here 

I hate.

The Loser

When that feelings come

Its just felt like I'm an idiot..I take things for granted.

I regret for all the things and chances I have not taken.. 

I cant stand my own attitude either..

I'm glad im not doing this on anyone, cause I know it would hurt them..badly

Why cant that attitute of mine change?

Well it sucks to be me..

It does.

Indeed I am the Loser.

but No matter how loser am I.. God is always there..I know he is.

He's the only one who knows what I'm going through..

I wish to change in this coming months.

If only we could really wish..

Answered Prayer

It sounds like a Dream come true..

finally, I can finally breath easily for the 1st time in my entire life

Taking my own world to Perth would be a great idea

Now I cant wait to Graduate next year, but I know I have to struggle and work hard to obtain a better results than before.

but still, a relive that I was given a green light to go there.

but I'm still not giving up on my chase to California.

couldn't think much now..so hopefully my Prayers are answer again next year.

lets see what fate lies ahead of me

Thank You GOD! 

Let me go

Going insane..

Insane again and again! 

1 more year, and I'm finally free from everything!

The lies and every single Fucking thing!

FUCK YOU ALL!

people shit!

The Sins of My Young

I should stop myself from Chasing you

I though I had a Chance..

Once again...I'm a dumb guy! When will I ever learn?!

My own mistakes lead to this unsolved problem of mine

Me..

I've had enough, Chasing my dreams are better than Chasing You..

Chances not Taken!

I know what to do after all.

Research always works for me..

And I hope my plan and thinking will be working.

Hoping for it happen, means I have to take this patiently for a month or two

Will it succeed? 

Well,I hope..Whatever plans I have, It's always been working..

Get ready to get Shock my friends(if it does happen)

If it doesn't..then Move Along is the only thing I can do.

I will survive?

Why does it has to turn it out this way?!

Fuck!!!

Why cant I stop being depressed for at least a month!

Things just go from bad to worst.

Killing myself would make hell and misery to others instead.

I felt like jumping from a cliff! and hoping that everything were back and start over again in the beginning..

God..help me in this one..

I just cant take it!

I felt the burden on my shoulder and my head felt like it's going to freaking explode into thin air!

whatever that means..

miss the beach somehow..dint get to see the sunset and sunrise! =[

Say

I don't want you

Cause i wasn't chasing you!

Ahh.... Why does it have to turn out this way around??!

Why does my Love life have to be difficult?

I tried my best, but in the end..it turns out to be different..

I meant different results..

and Friends are always there to not believe in you when your telling the truth.

call that a FRIEND huh..

Closer To You

All that I'm after is life full of laughter

As long I'm laughing with you

All that still matter is a Love ever after.

The 5th Wave!

Survived semester 4!

Results were..

well Sucks...what the heck?! 

I din't repeat any subject,that matters..

And i swear on my Cats grave i need to change my habit of sending my work late!!

Like that will ever happen!

Time

 It fly's by us Fast enough till we din't even notice it

Changes everyone at the same time

Had I change?

That question is only for God to know

I felt miserable each day

I never knew why...

Never did

5 more months till 2011

How i cant wait for that day to come..

From that day onwards

 

I wanted my life means something

and To find the purpose of my living my life

Empty Again

I tried to fill some emptiness 

Till i had it all spilled over

Everything's so far away

That I don't know who I am

When all that i wanted

And all that I have

Don't seem so much

For Me to Hold On..

Your mind is the scene of the crime

Watch the movie twice now

I have to watch it one more time, this time.. with a proper attire 

For two times I've been watching the movie with short pants

And it ain't fun

Cause it was freezing cold

Inception was

Mind blowing! Epic Movie! 

Dream on Christoper Nolan

Pain..Its just a Simple Compromise

I will never bother You

never promise to

never follow you( i never did)

never bother you (even this)

never speak a word again

I will crawl away away for good

Things have never been so swell

I have never failed to fail 

Pain!

You know your right

*this goes to you for forgetting your own friends who had been with you over the years

yet, i still want to forgive but i felt like Killing myself instead