1/20/10

To The Edge.

I just cant get enough of Left 4 Dead 2 these days

it's like every week i had to go to Gizmo just to play it

altho i had the game in my Xbox360

but playing in Pc is still the best experience..


Holidays has been really crappy

went to find jobs on Monday

tried Memories , Sony , Copal Digital..

not much

but i'm hoping and really wanted to work at Sony at Boulavard

i really wanted to work

but at the same thing in my mind

i don't wanna work!


cause there's a Photography Workshop this Friday at Campus..

crap..

i want to go for that too.

i really really really MISS COLLEGE LIFE!!!!

i miss being lazy

i miss being Busy doing ASSignments

i miss hanging out with friends and all the great lecturers and staff!!

i felt ALIVE when i'm there.

but DEAD at home!

Class begins on March!

and now its like 20th of January?!!

how long do i have to wait!!!?

gaahhh!

and out of the blue

I miss someone so badly..


i cant believe i still think about her

but life must go on without her..

hoping for a new leap of change this year..

1/18/10

Was not

I'm so freaking lazy to update these days.

no mood at all.

boredom really struck me well this new year.

crap.

enough of that..

i cant wait for interview tomorrow.

i need that freaking JOB

i need MONEY

like i said.

2010 will be different.

i'll make myself as bz as possible.

so what?

i don't care what others think about me

i am what i am

this is me

i don't give a fuck whoever you are

is either your Miss Popular,Or Mr Popular

well my ass you guys sucks!

people like you only think about fame!

talk shit about us while you dint even realize that your the shitty one's.




ok i had enough.

Lan Cau!

1/5/10

Counting

1 month and 26 days left

to class

what the Fcuk am i going to do that long.

First of all, i would love to go to the Big Night Out at Singapore next month

i have money,passport,transportation,shelter..except for food

but i don't think my parents would be that crazy enough to let me go there alone

unless its KL.

sigh

how i wish to get out of this miserable life

maybe when i started my degree i can go

hopefully

at least to Lasalle College of Art in Singapore would just be good enough

if not

i'll just see what i can do

my holidays are fcuking bored

all i do

watching movie at MBO

went to hang out at town

alone

as always

no one even bother tho

at least i can enjoy the cold breezy night at Waterfront

since it's school time

none of those suckers and son of a bitch is there anymore



what a life eh?


Thoughts

I'm kinda numb
It's so distorted 
You left me here with
This DAMAGE that you caused
My tortured faces
Those fucked up places
In my memories
None of them I've lost
But


I haven't been here long enough to know
Every time I feel this I just LOSE control
Such a cancer on the face of everything that's beautiful
I Wish that this would just go


It's kinda sick
I feel so dirty
I'm kinda tragic
Kinda insecure
But i know
That i'm the only
One that can fix
Whatever wrong i'm sure
But


I feel so Alone
From all I've become 
I'll take you down
I feel so down
I'm water while you drown
You're lifted while I'm down
I'm cancer in your womb
I'm the needle in your spoon


Just go


With all these fucking lies
All these fucking lies

1/3/10

Im not

Why does everyday of my life

i have to go through this kind of shit?

just a little misunderstanding and joking around

they take it serious!

you wanna know the reasons why?

well

here it is.

your my friend, and you know who i am if i play around cause i was never serious at it

i respect your time with family and other friends

i don't bother when you say your not free at all

the thing is

all i wanted is a Friend to hang out with

now tell me..whats wrong with that?

i don't have any cool cousins or brother who brings me to club, or futsal or hagging out

just for your information

I've live my life ALONE for the past years!

ALONE!

Have you ever felt that loneliness,emptiness, that freaking hole is getting bigger and bigger every single day!

fcuk i even go out alone

watch movie alone

drink liquor by my own!

especially when i don't have that much friends to hang out with!

i'm not a cool guy

i gotta admit i'm just typical douche bag loser!

I live my life alone,alone and alone

just to have a Friend to hang out with

is just enough


maybe i don't deserve any friends



i don't think anyone knows how i feel

only God knows how suffering i am

an END to my life would just be good enough for me

and it'll make me

Happy.

A Brave New World

I'm gonna think different this new year.

what  happen before,i'll forget about it.

I need a fresh start

I need a new path

I believe i can make something different this year.

since i'm still gonna live in with the Problems i had last year

I'm gonna have to step up from now on

I don't care who you were before to me

i'll do all my best to dismiss you

i don't give a fuck anymore

i don't

when i was being the friendly type of person last year

all i got was a Backstab

Shitty Rumors

and all that fucking crap of yours

i don't give a Fuck ANYMORE!

this time..i swear to God

  i wont be the same Tim you know.

i swear. I've suffered enough for one whole FUCKING year of 2009!

1/2/10

Finale

After more than 10 templates of gay and liberal layouts.

i finally got one.

I'm tired of doing it over and over and over again..

makes me feel so crappy!

I need a fresh air.

cau.

to be continue.

blog under construction.

Happy New Year Peeps!

fcuk 2009,hello 2010.

12/27/09

Flash back..

The old times

where was it..

why the fcuk am i so emo these days.

today i made a big impact to them by serving after months of absents.

i can say,were they that shock to see me back?

well..i hope not, i wont be returning to that place.

anymore.

but i still pray and believe in God

and i got no hard feelings towards you all anymore.

whats the point for me to hate you all.

i got nothing in return but a smack in the face

next year.

hoping for a new start for myself

..



the best time of my life this year

only once in this year.. i was happy

the rest

it was hell

2009 is the most worst year of my entire life

2010

i hope your better than this year.

12/19/09

Those were the days

Al tho i cant believe that i went to a 4-12year old kids Christmas Celebration that afternoon

 i had no regrets going there

brings back the old times

those memory

child hood memories

i use to celebrate Christmas with joy and happy

now.

it's just too different

i used to remember i had a great time in Sunday School with friends of mine

Cyril, Danson, Aldrich and John(i think he was there)

yea.

those were the times eh

now were all separate.

It felt very different....

little sad tho..

i miss those days...



Merry Christmas Everyone.

12/16/09

Stand in the rain

When i never though it would happen

i'll never really though that it would really happen in the early episodes..

here's a picture of Ellen and Jo Harvelle

Gonna miss them both




now i have to wait till January 21st for the 11th episode..

crap.

i hate breaks..

and i'm still sad to see Jo died...

=[

12/11/09

How I Wish

Hopefully Next Year there will be a Silent Hill: Shattered Memories in xbox360

i am so damn desperate to play that game.

played the 1st ever silent hill in ps1

and it was freaking cool and.. scary.



only for wii,psp and ps2?

crap..

why cant they have such a good game in my console..

i just wanna relive the nightmare.

12/8/09

Its So

I think my Blog look so FREAKING


GAY!



thats all for now.


Arrivederci

12/6/09

The Obsession




Staying in front of my TV for 10 hours non stop

i just cant stop playing Dragon Age Origins!!

Its one of those game that kept you going and going and going!

I've played to Much game these day until it makes me forget what day it is today

For Christ Sake i dint know today was sunday.

sleep late due to birthday bash at Piccadilly's

wake up early by my mom, i dint know why..

to find out that i was going church!

crap.

i need to stop for awhile.

i hope.

i'm playing one of the most anticipated, stunning ,expansive game of the YEAR!!

great...now i'm tempting myself to play again..

off to play games

vegil la macchinetta su di voi
(may the maker watch over you)

oh ya..not to mention. i'm obsess in learning Italiano now

dont ask why


arrivederci
(goodbye)

12/3/09

The Only Exception

its been long i dint update..

my blog looks so

lame

oh well.

my holidays weren't bad at all.

went to Singapore and Johor.

I miss Singapore badly..

everything there is so freaking cool and CHEAP!!

its a dream world for me there.

but i dont have the cash tho..

maybe i would consider studying there. hah!

nw the holidays are bored.

im just staying at home playing my Xbox360 all day.

my hand is really weak now.

i slept late and play games all nite.

 im considering to take a part time job starting next week.

cause i  have no mood to celebrate Christmast due to sum F******S

28 days to go to New Year.

i cant wait for that only..

thats all for now on the lame blogs.org

off to play my games!!

11/21/09

4 months and counting

HOLIDAYS begin TODAYYY!!

submit all my work in the dying minutes. receive lecture from the lecturers due to poor performance

crap..

i have a feeling that i'll fail maybe 1 or 2 subjects..

im begging to have a C or a C-

now off to sleep

and Hello SINGAPORE!!!!

i hope i can get my early Christmas present there!!

~i hope~

and yea..

i have a 4 months holidays..

the title says so.

believe me.

i don't even believe it

11/19/09

0311 a m

still doin my work

assignments is killing me...

wont be sleeping tonite...

all nite work work work work work

i need to change my habit of doing the work last min..

wait

that will never change

its in our blood to do it in the last dying minutes....

back to work

11/17/09

Counting Down

4 more days

and i'm free

off to Singapore!!

4 months of holidays get me thinking that i should really spent my time looking for part-time job

few assignments left

and i'll SCREAMMMM

but sadly

my move to KL next year has been turned down

~ crap ~

but the good thing is

i'll work while studying

more photography events next year

a new year for myself
 
time to change myself

this year has been to worst,bad,lame and heart-breaking time of my life

i hope my Christmas will be good.

cause i'm already in the mood!! =]



11/10/09

Im Not Capable Of Anything

What i believe in

i felt empty
useless

I believe in nothing not the end and not the start
I believe in nothing not the earth and not the stars
I believe in nothing not the day or not the dark
I believe in nothing but the beating of our hearts
I believe in nothing 100 suns until we part
I believe in nothing not in sin but not in God
I believe in nothing not in Peace and not in War


I believe in nothing but the truth in who we are.....

but i don't believe in Myself.

11/8/09

The Dead Week

My final 2 weeks of semester 3

and i'm freaking dead!

I haven't completed all my assignments yet

and presentations is this coming Tuesday & Wednesday

Hoping for some miracle!!

How i wish my assignments can do its own job.

all the time.

11/3/09

What..



Why the fuck am i still blogging??!

go do your work asshole!


Cubism

3 weeks to Holiday

i cannot focused on that too much now

too many work to do

assigments

assigments

assigments

how i wish i could just woke up and everything is done

i dont want to ended up dead next semester

hell no!!

Record Breaking not

For the 1st time in 1 and a Half year

I slept at 8pm.

for real.

10/31/09

Sleepyhead

Its 12.51 am

and i just ate my breakfast,lunch and dinner

and i cant even sleep

again

why cant i sleep?

i need to wake up early in the morning

just to find the perfect spot for my photography ASSignments

and

to make it worst

i have a photo outing at 3pm around town

when in the hell i'm going to get some GOOD sleep!

i need to be patience...

4 more weeks

and hello to Singapore!

10/25/09

Dont Look Back In Anger

Maybe i should just be quiet

ignoring them

they'll ignore me

should be a good idea

i come and go

and i wont bother about them anymore

whats the point of getting angry at them

i don't get anything in return

i'll relax

chill

quite like i was before

do the job

mind my own business

Amen!

10/23/09

It Wont

this scars of mine wont fade away

when will it ever fade

its making me sick

sometimes tears say all there is to say

10/18/09

On the road


IM CURRENTLY OBSESS WITH THIS SONG!!

The original soundtrack of Kamen Rider Decade!

and you think i cant sing this song?

hah!

Think again!




10/17/09

She's so

After Watching

and Obsess

On Kamen Rider Decade!


I just cant stop watching

Natsumi

Alson Know as Kanna Mori

She's So

Adorable!

=]

i cant believe i said that

Oh well..

Better save my energy for tomorrow's Football Match Against the Army!

HENSHIN!

10/16/09

Where Was The Old Time?

I miss her

I do

Why did this happen to us?

Sights

I sound so freaking EMO!

Why cant i just not be EMO for a Week!

A week!

Its all i'm asking

I want to be HAPPY always!

Why cant you just stop msgging me telling me its wrong msg!?

Everytime you msg me, id think about you

Hell, I think about you everyday!

I hope my move to KL will be approve..

I need a time on my own.



10/14/09

Thats What HE Says

I use to say

Fuck You and Go to hell

Every time when people tries to ask for forgiveness from me

I know i could be a mean and sarcastic bastard

but

I need to change those

The reason why i say those cause i get pissed off really fast

I'm a Hot Headed Tempered Person!

Thats me

I dont need to be that person anymore

God Says

If people make fun of You

Laugh at them

If they insult you and bully you

Laugh harder

Cause there's no point of fighting back

What do you get in return?

Nothing

If i hate that person so hard cause that person ruin my life

I still have nothing in return

except hurting myself thinking about the problems

to anyone that i have hurt before

forgive me or not

i can accept it

Hate me or not

I wont mind

10/13/09

Pure

I'm Alive

and

I'm Dreaming Out Loud

Such a Boring Day

...................

I scored 3% out of 60% in my History Of Art mid-term exam??!!!

Surprise

I'm Not

Cause it was freakingg Hard!

Try to learn those

You'll eventually know how i feel..

Time to Sleep! Sleep! Sleep!

Wake me till the morning after!

This is it

Its been 3 months pass by

but still

Micheal Jackson's

Songs

and

Dance move

Still plays in my head

This is his story

his final rehearsal

before his tragic death

that shock the World

This is it


The Hardest Choice

Decisions decisions decisions

its hard for me these days

i have too many choices

or not

Animator Designer

Magazine

and

Photography

yes

Photography

recently

I've been very active in the Photography Field

Any events

I'll join in no matter what

I dont know what makes

me so exited about it

i do realizes that my skills are improving abit


maybe i'll ended like this dude here

oh well.

wherever it takes me

its worth it

and i dont know why did have the time to blog alot now

Back to WORK!!

nvm.

i'll just sleep

10/12/09

Good God Y'all

Sometimes i wonder

why do i miss her?

after what happen few weeks ago.

its so..weird

and
....

nevermind.

i wish we can turn back time,

and back like it was before

i know my mistakes

and i'll learn from it

maybe

Single is the best way for me

maybe

God has better plans ahead for me

maybe

it's too early for me

not the time

i cut my hair short

to start a new leaf

and

i'll focus more on my works

it' all i can do

at church

its a different story now

my name was not on the duty roster for 1 month!

WOW!

to tell you,

i'm not happy

it's like they dont wan me around after they blame me for nothing!

what for the sake of the information!

im not a freaking spy you suckers!

i dont mind if you all blame and accused me

i have the patience for that

but

not letting me serve for God!?

that bullshit i tell you

it really is!

i'll stay away from you suckers from now on

i would take the blame and all

but you'll never stop me from serving God!!

Do i?

After cutting my hair short yesterday

everyone was in shock!

i wonder why....

they called me the Good boy!

Crap...no thx.

I hate that.

I've been label that ever since i told them i go to church every sunday morning

of course i am

but at night

i'm different.

>=]

hahahaha.

my head feels so aerodynamic

so light

i think i can run faster now.

beware futsal opponents !

10/10/09

I dont want it to end

I'm trying to make myself comfortable now

but everyday

i just get very tired all the time

Monday to Friday

Non stop class

At night Futsal with the College Team

Twice to three times a week

And theres the event that been happening every month

Gigs
Party
Celebration

and all that

I dint even get enough sleep!

Its crap

but i like it

I'm being very active and the end of the year

and i'm enjoying it every last moment of it

My college

Makes my day everyday

I don't want to leave Limkokwing Borneo just yet

10/9/09

I want to belive

2 days ago

Newspaper saying that the Indonesia's Vigilante People's Democratic Defence
i'll make it short.."Flag"

Will be invading my hometown on the 8th

Today they sent out a warning saying their coming

I can see why my neighborhood is sooooo damn quiet

but is it true?

that they can stand bullets and sharp objects?

i got nothing against Indonesians
My friends are from there, and i totally respect them
and if they did attack, i mean...invade
go for those who deserve it

Like those idiotic politics

now, im not allowed to leave the house.
thanks alot!
but there was no invasion
nothing
i hope

but something tells me

.....

i have a feeling that they are going to invade

not today
not friday

but this saturday

why?

cause the VIP's will be there
crowds are there
everyone is at the Padang Merdeka..

and im one of them.

well at least im not going there alone just to see those crappy prime ministers
my whole college is doing a parade all the way from my college to the field

by walking!

it sounds fun

but the threat doesn't.

i really hope that nothing bad will happen

or else

you'll be seeing me in the front page on the Sunday Post with my College Flag and my Camera with me

10/7/09

Im not moving

If one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your Heart starts to wonder where on this earth i could be

so i'm not moving

9/29/09

When The Wind Blows

You left me for good

Back to reality for me

i just need to forget about You

Did i regret? no..i had no regrets to be with you

I'll learn from my mistakes


I cant wait for the year 2009 to end

and hello to 2010

That will be my time to Change

Start a new Journey for myself

and i'm Eager to leave this place

I'll miss my hometown

and i'll miss you the most

and i'm really am thank full to have my friends who really support me the whole time

Cheers! =]

9/17/09

The Love of the Killing Games!

This is my 100th post
=]


What will the world be without Violence?
I dont wish for those
But if its a Game

I wouldn't mind at all

The Game Prototype really makes me wanna play the game over and over again
why?
Cause its more like GTA and Assasins Creed.
You can Kill anyone
Be anyone
Start a chaos
and the best of all you can go anywhere in the Big city of New York and do anything!
This game really KICK ASS every single action game i've ever played in my entire life!

If there's anyone wanted a real Game,this is the Game that everyone

and this Game is gonna be part of my Assingments for my Magazine Spread!

9/16/09

Somewhere,Some Place Better

Its my 3rd Sem in Lkw.
Time flies by so fast

I dint even realise that im in college
im 19 means im getting old
driving
and all that

But to think about it.
I wanted to be in Lkw till im Degree

But my mind
Changes Everyting

I wanted to go to my dream College
Yeah,its not Limkokwing(sorry)
Its Arts Center College Of Design in Pasadena,California

It would be great if i had a chance to study there
and i would love to take my degree course there
hope they have Masters of Design
that would make me interested in my Course even more

BUT

there's always a but

I dont felt like leaving yet
Not the time!

I love my Friends here
My Family
My Cat & Dog
My Home
The Food
My Girlfriend especially
I would never leave those

Without all of those

I wont be here writing this blog
and tell everyone my stories in here..

9/14/09

Slowly i adapted

Its been weeks i dint update.
Been through hell for awhile
Everything turn out really bad
except one

My relationship

Now the only thing im worried is.
Some of the things thats been happening.
Im scared that it'll affect our realtionship.
Of course, were happy to be together
but there are things that doesn't seem right
From what i've know
oh nvm..
i dont feel like telling it here yet.
but i will..

the only i could say is
izit wrong for me and her to be together?
and what the fuck have i ever done to you before!? or your relatioship?!

thats all..

only God knows what the heck happen to you..
I treat you like a Good Friend,and this is what i get in return..
YOU FUCKING HYPROCRITE!

8/31/09

One Way

Million Miles

For my Creator

You gave me life

Now Show Me How To Live!

To be myself is all can do

I want to Move on

Forgetting about my past

Cause i hate it..

Show me a way..

Will you?

8/28/09

Back To Square One


Watching my friends
The videos and all..

Makes me wanna play skate again..
Its been years i dint skate

felt like buying my own deck
and start Skating! =]

AGAIN!

8/26/09

My lost.

When it comes to admit..

I do miss you.

Wish everything went well between us.

I dont hate you

Im not angry at you

I've never accuse you

Never

I miss your smile

Your laugh

The times when you always cheer me up

Listening to your problems and all

and

The person that you are now

You are the type of person thats immposible to find.

......

8/25/09

Winchester's are Back!

A must see Final Season of Supernatural!!
I cant belive its gonna end in season 5..
crap.
This is my most favourite Tv Shows of all time..

Hope they'll be season 6!

I Hate

I hate Strangers who thinks im they're friends
I hate being Sad
I hate being Angry all the time
I hate being Depress
I hate being Emo
I hate Polotics
I hate Backstabbers
I hate friends who talk behind my back
I hate those wannabe
I hate those people who think they're Cool
I hate Slow Internet
I hate Stairs
I hate Cops
I hate it when i dont have anymore credits in my Phone
I hate Lag
I hate to Lose all the time
I hate the thing called Love

I hate myself

for doing all the mistakes and all those shit thats been happening in the past week!

8/24/09

Empty

Is this the moment where i look you in the eye
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry
and everything, it will surely change

I try to catch my breath again.
and im hurt much more,than anytime before

I've show and tried my best
and this is what i get..
i never knew you were that kind of person.

You deserve someone better
better than me.

Im better off Alone.

8/22/09

What's Love Gotta Do With This?


I celebrated my birthday simple
Went dinner with my Family
Thats all..

And all speculations that my relationship with her seems faded
Well, its just the beginning.

My friends kept Congratulating me
I can accept that
But its not that im getting Married.

My friends were to Exited to hear the news that Im in a Relationship
For how long i was single
They're all tired seing me being alone and emo.

I made the first move, and she accept it.

But the only thing is, will she Love me as much as I Loved her?

8/17/09


I felt like singing this song.

Just to Cheer myself up..

Forgive Or Forget About It!

The way you talk to me is different

Stop pretending that your not mad at me

I know when people are mad at me.

Apolagize is not enough.

Then what else do wanted me to say?

Sing One Republic's Apolagize to you?

That diffenetly wont work...

Or maybe i think too much.

WAY TOO MUCH!

8/16/09

This Is How It Ends

You can blame me for what's been happening

But this is how it ends..

It ends in hated and ignoring each other.

I dont hate you for ignoring me

Cause there's no point if i hated you..Id rather see you hated me.

So, yea..I've got no feelings for You anymore..

Im not desperate

I know how to move on

I can cope with anything thats been happening..

Im a happy guy, so there's no point for me to be sad, emo, depressed..

I know i've said that many times, but my emotions changes at times.

Good Luck with everything

You deserve someone better.

=]

As for me..

Im better off alone

I have Friends

Family

God

Good Music

and

Assignments

Just to make me happy and forget about the past.

Here's a song for you.

If you ever read this.